Four Reasons to Loathe Texas A&M's Bus Transit System

The back of the buses are a den of frightening whirring demonic sounds. I have absolutely no idea what the hell kind of weapons/creatures are being used to slaughter the menagerie of mongooses (mongeese? Google Chrome says no.) in the back compartment of the bus, but it's one of the most unpleasant sounds I hear on a daily basis. Not to mention the heavy, periodic vibration that it sends up my legs, but that's probably just the giant beast that lives inside the bus snoring.

You must hold drag races to determine who your drivers are going to be. Whether it's because they get distracted by the yellow stripes on the road or because they get some twisted pleasure out of watching helpless sorority girls spill their Starbucks Frappe Crappe Machiatto Strangiato all over their North Face jackets, your drivers are going to kill us someday. I don't know if that's your goal or not, but if it is, you're well on your way toward a hunk of twisted metal, maroon shirts, and only the finest Polo apparel.

You secretly know how much I love watching you drive off as I walk up to the door. I can tell who the newbies are because they seriously think that running to the bus will get them on. See, they don't know that you just feed off of that sort of entertainment. Wait for Aaron--sprinting, drastically-late-for-his-test Aaron--to get just within cursing distance of your beloved bus and then close the doors and zoom off. How would you like it if I beat you over the head with one of those stop signs you habitually roll through and then let you painfully limp your way to the bus, only to take off? That's turning the tables quite a bit, huh?

You punish me for being a gentleman. Even after a long, hard day of classes, I still have no problem giving up my seat for a lady. Being that your drivers can't do an ounce of good, they decide to punish me for having such a capacity by planting bitter girls who get offended when you offer them your seat. There's nothing quite like debating whether to be chivalrous or not, finally giving in to be the gentleman, and then hearing YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW ABOUT YOU TREAT ME AS YOUR EQUAL when you make such a sacrifice. And then the whole bus looks at you like you threw a fresh batch of mongeese in the engine.

Someday I will have my revenge, A&M Bus Transit System. Someday.