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Thoughts for the New Year (Part 2: Nature's Most Relentless Force)

There is a demographic in our world comprised of people to whom resistance and opposition come naturally: the "rebounders." Your typical rebounder is characterized by a haughty attitude, is quick to anger or dispute, and won't take "no" for an answer. They fight anything that comes their way with whatever they may have at their disposal until they fall to their knees in exhaustion. Why do they do this? Because these people have a complex about being acted on by any force that may change them, no matter how inconsequential or harmless that force may really be. And, united in large enough numbers, this demographic can ebb away just about any tide of change rolling their way. Any tide, that is, but time.

In a country where pretty much everything you can think of falls under the order of checks and balances, time is an agency that goes about its business completely undisturbed. Time doesn't stop working for Martin Luther King Day, Good Friday, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, or even Christmas, if you can believe that (hell, not even Walmart is open Christmas, and Walmart is open all the time.). Unlike many of our earthly programs and endeavors, time never retrogrades. Unlike even the most disciplined soldier, time never gets off-step. Time presses onward and takes anything and everything with it, regardless of whether they're trying to put up a fight or not.

The aforementioned rebounders who fight any force that come their way try and fight time just like any other enemy. While time destroys the collagen fibers in the face of a supermodel past her prime, she gets botox injections, only for time to get to work destroying those too. As time slowly brittles the bones and atrophies the muscles of an aging star athlete, this rebounder empties his savings account with mass purchases of gym memberships, bull shark testosterone, and all that other stuff that makes a vitamin store smell so weird--all while time dutifully keeps chipping away at the athlete's insides. And even while time causes two people, who, at the beginning of the year were happy as they could be, to become alienated from each other, the hopeless romantic wades against the stream, fumbling all the while in feeble hopes of just somehow winning back the other's heart. For the people who will not ever admit defeat, time will ultimately have the final say.

Although I'm no supermodel or star athlete, I've been a witness to some of time's more brutal work just this year. I think of myself and my circumstances just a year ago and I realize just how much time has taken with it before my very eyes. I imagine standing on a riverbed and watching as the things I held dear--loved ones, possessions, ideas I clung to--slowly, yet constantly and without any sign of stopping, float down the river before me, and I find my feet rooted to the ground, helpless to resist. One of the most sinister things about our mutual acquaintance time is how it operates so slowly and in a realm where we can't notice its changes until we finally blink and re-envision the world in which we've been living. It's like the old adage goes: "You never really know what you had until it's gone."

I would like to close this second part of my series on a much more positive note that'll make time look less like an enemy and hopefully more like a neutral and natural force. While it is true that time takes with it many things that we hold dear, it is absolutely crucial that we realize that time also leaves new things where the old have been taken away. Like any scientific process of which equilibrium is a key concept to its explanation, time will replace what it has taken in some way or another. Time may not rekindle a beloved romance, restore an afflicted body, or bring back our loved ones from the dead, but what it always leaves us is more of itself. And with that precious extra time, we can find a companion, be it physical, mental, or spiritual, to ride time's ever-flowing tide with. When the effects of time have got you down, realize that there's more of it ahead.

Thoughts for the New Year (Part 1: Adapting to Adapting to Change)

Change.

It's a scary word for many people. Change keeps companies on their toes, and sometimes sweeps them off their feet if it's dramatic enough. Change forces the media to stay ahead of the game before they're labeled "old-fashioned" or "lame." Even worse, change means that life cannot simply go on normally forever. Change is a constant force that, if it does not move a person, will certainly leave its marks on them.

But does change have to be a bad word? There's no denying that change is inconvenient to at least some small degree for any person living a routine life, which would be everybody in this world. Everything that happens in this world affects everyone in it in some way. Were we able to have our way, most of us would probably choose how we wanted life to be and never ask to change it, and especially not have someone else change it for us. On the other hand, however, who's to say any one person knows what's right for society as a whole? Regardless of how you feel politically (I'm still not even sure how I feel, so I can hardly be swaying you in that sense), collaborating with several others from different backgrounds is crucial to getting all the background we can get to determine what really is best for the average individual on this earth.

All my life, I've grown up with blinders on, not wanting to really consider anything outside of what I've had placed in front of me as I walk straight through life. It wasn't until the end of this year that I really learned what good change can do for a person or even an entire people. There's much to be said about time-honored traditions, customs, and laws because many of the ones instituted have stood the test of time as being relevant even today. But there too are some statutes, thoughts, and behaviors that match an older society and one that shouldn't reflect on us as a progressive world in every other realm. It's been a process, but my own natural social life has turned into a field study where I've startlingly found a remarkable number of people not screwed over by change, but rather blessed by it. For some of these people, change gripped their lives in very personal ways that they couldn't help, but instead of trying to fight what was just natural, they went with this change, curious to see where the tide may take them and sick and tired of fighting the change within them for the applause of others.

There are always two sides to every war, but we can't lose sight of the forest for the trees. Some people are born in circumstances where they are generally privileged socially in just about every way you could think of. For these people, change is not seen as necessary or even favorable. For the various people who are born under different circumstances, the war is about embracing the lot they've been dealt in life and fighting for change to ensure the security of that lot once they've really embraced it. If you're one of the former and don't think change is important, consider something you hold very dear in your own life taken away from you--something so dear to you that if you were to lose it, it would irreversibly cost you your reputation. If you could never get that one thing back, whatever it was, wouldn't you want absolution from the law from being trodden on even more? Consider those who have been dealt a different hand in life: that's how you win the game.

The 10 Most Confusing Lines from Christmas Songs

1. "And so I'm offering this simple phrase / To kids from one to ninety-two" (The Christmas Song) - I know that songs generally have to rhyme, but why did the writer of this song stop at ninety-two? I guess it's the biggest number that could fit in the rhythmic pattern he had going, but seriously, most people don't even think of ninety-two as a big number. How about "to kids from one to infinity times two?"
2. "Troll the ancient Yuletide carol" (Deck the Halls) - Okay, I have to admit I had to look up two words for this one. If you don't know what Yuletide is, it's just another, more general word for the holiday season. Troll, however, is a word we sing and probably don't even think about. Apparently the word means "to sing in succession," but is there seriously anybody who uses that word anymore? I know there are a lot of Old English words in our Christmas carols, but at least we know what they mean and they don't bring up images of some ugly creature that lives under a bridge.
3. "And he only paused a moment when / He heard him holler 'Stop!'" (Frosty the Snowman) - For starters, the first "he" refers to Frosty, while the second refers to the "traffic cop." The verse ends with this line, and the next one is about Frosty leaving. Did Frosty get hit by a car because he only paused for a moment? I mean, if the traffic cop is "holler[ing] 'Stop!'," then there must have been traffic coming. He was a "traffic cop," after all. So maybe the last verse of this song takes place in the middle of the road with the snowy mess that was Frosty saying his dying words, not from the heat of the sun, but from not listening to that traffic cop.
4. "He made me a watchman / On the city wall / And if I am a Christian / I am the leat of all" (Go Tell It on the Mountain) - Okay, so this one's a little obscure, but the fact that the word "leat" can be confused with "leet (l33t)" makes this song all the more ambiguous/funny. The term "leet," if you do not know, is a variation on the word "elite" and is usually used in the Internet gaming realm to talk about just how awesome you are. When I searched for "leat" on Merriam-Webster.com, I got the following message, verbatim: "Leat, it turns out, isn't in the free Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary." Even Merriam and Webster don't think this word is important enough to include in the dictionary, and they have the word "fug" in their dictionary. Know what it means? Me either.
5. "You better watch out / You better not cry / You better not pout / I'm tellin' you why..." (Santa Claus is Coming to Town) - This song suffers from a case of mixed messages. Is it trying to tell children that you shouldn't be sad because Santa's on his way, or is it trying to say that criers and pouters will get a heaping lump of coal in their stockings? Sorry, but if I were a child and my parents told me that me crying would deny me all of Santa's goodies, I would be one miserable wreck.
6. "Take a look in the five-and-ten glistening once again / With candy canes and silver lanes aglow" (It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas) - This is another line that's lesser-known, but I couldn't have only nine songs in this list, so there you go. While there's a chance some people may know what a five-and-ten store is (it's kind of like a Dollar Tree/convenient store), what are the glowing silver lanes and why are they in that store? Is this a reference to all of the old people that shop there? After all, Silver Lanes sounds like a retirement home...or a senior bowling team.
7. "There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases / Long, long ago" (It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year) - Okay, who includes telling ghost stories in their slew of Christmas traditions? Okay honey, go get the kids. We just had dinner, opened presents, read the Christmas story, and now we have to scare the bejesus out of the little ones. Maybe this is something more common, but I know for a fact my family would have none of that nonsense, especially if it'll keep Pop Pop from his dinner.
8. "Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun / Now the jingle hop has begun" (Jingle Bell Rock) - "Snowing" is a common verb in Christmas songs. "Blowing up" is rather uncommon, unless you happen to be spending your holiday with Duke Nukem or John McClane. By the way, Die Hard is the best Christmas movie you can see with your family. If nothing else, it beats the hell out of ghost stories.
9. "Holy infant so tender and mild" (Silent Night) - Hearing "tender and mild" conjures up images of fried chicken. Definitely not a child from heaven.
10. "Here is a hammer and lots of tacks..." (Up on the Housetop) - This is the reason why "you'd better watch out" when Santa Claus is comin' to town. Imagine reaching into your stocking and pulling out a handful of tacks and a blunt weapon. Just what would you think of Santa Claus then?

The Five Most Bizarre Songs on My iPod at the Moment

I like for my music tastes to be more than just tastes. I like them to be experiences in tune with all of my senses. And sometimes my senses get together and possess me to have songs like the following five on my iPod. Songs that, if you've never heard them before, are sure to make you think just a little less of me, and for good reason. So, without further ado, here are the five most bizarre songs on my iPod at the moment (in no particular order).

1. Queen - Bring Back That Leroy Brown - If the 1920s were sticking their nose into any song written in the past forty years, this would have to be it as far as I have heard. Replete with bouncy rhythms, wild pitch changes and the sheer sharpness with which the song is pulled off, you'll wonder just what kind of band would put out something like this. The answer? Queen, because they rock.
2. Muse - Con-Science - Beginning with a very simple piano riff, Con-Science builds on that with which it begins with some of the creepiest melodies I've ever heard. Try and listen to this song with the lights off and not feel just a little scared. Go ahead, try it. There's a reason this song isn't very popular, but it's a dark corner of Muse's past that even most fans don't know about.
3. Radiohead - Everything in Its Right Place - Weird mumbles, grunts, computer noises, and robot sounds aside, this is a great song to memorize the lyrics to and interpret just however you want. Other than that, it makes you feel like you're lost in the middle of a Stanley Kubrick maze that's been tiled with LSD and aerated with Essence of Psychadelia.
4. Muse - Micro Cuts - Where Con-Science was spooky and haunting, Micro Cuts just makes you want to run for your life from this giant beast screaming its falsetto nonsense. Matt Bellamy, the singer/pianist/guitarist/songwriter for Muse, said that this song came about as a result of a nightmare he had involving giant blades swinging in the sky. I think the song conveys that very well. After listening to the video immediately after this block of text, type "Micro Cuts in G Major" into YouTube and be exponentially more scared.
5. Mindless Self-Indulgence - Tom Sawyer - If you don't like Rush, shame on you, first of all. Second of all, Mindless Self-Indulgence was kind enough to put together this little cover for you so you can BS your way through a conversation with any of those obnoxious hardcore Rush fans (yes, myself included). This song goes almost cardiac-arrestingly fast and makes the original feel like it's in slow motion. Is this a slap in the face or a tribute to Rush? That's for you to decide and for me to say that it doesn't matter what you say because it rocks.

So I hope this little list has shown you why I tend not to elaborate on the types of bands I listen to, or maybe it's convinced you to never ask what's in my car's CD player. Either way, I hope this was entertaining for you, and if there are any bizarre songs out there you think take the cake, feel free to comment on this post or message me on Facebook.

The Point of Know Return

It's 8:41 PM on Friday, December 3rd, 2010, and I'm still depressed.

It's almost funny in a sitcom sort of way, really. Just imagine me as the mentally unstable, gloomy old neighbor of the show's family. I come to their door again in this episode (and for the fifth time this season) and ask for that same measuring cup back I've been bothering them about returning since the show aired. Our protagonist pauses, lays down a smooth one-liner, and closes the door in my face as the canned laughter sees me out. Oh, that old Mr. Perkins, the audience thinks, what a miserable old fart. The sad thing is that I've created for myself this old fart persona, and I am a good forty-plus years from being old fart eligible.

And what would a strong character be without his good old personal struggles, right? What makes who I've become even more of a character is the fact that I've been hung up in a web spun with the most taught dramatic irony I have ever had the pleasure of being suspended in. Sure, it's true that nobody on this earth knows what the future holds (no, not even Miss Cleo), but I've never worried about my life as much as I have now, for the sheer reason that I'm sure somebody out there knows what's going to come of my current pressing situation. And I'm dying to know.

A good friend of mine (the band Rush) once told me that the point of the journey is not to arrive. Could a corollary to that be that the point of the arrival is the journey itself? In other words, do I want things to be resolved right, right now? The impatient side of me, which is unfortunately just about all of me, would say that yes, there's nothing more that I could want right now but for these circumstances to fix themselves. And even to an extent, that impatient side even recognizes that an adverse end to these circumstances would beat the hell out of hanging suspended over the edge of this chasm. However, there still exists a part of me that can't help but realize what all I've been learning through this experience, and that I still have more to learn before I'm ready to move on. But like an unceasing tide washes away whatever stands in its way regardless of how noble it is, so does my selfish, impatient side do to the part in me wanting to grow.

So what should I do, then? The key to taking on an enemy of considerable force is to have not only a good offense, but a superior defense. This infinitesimal part of me, this little patch of my brain that realizes there's still much for me to learn, needs to grow in order to provide a solid defense. It is unfortunate that depression is an enemy that can never be conquered for good like in the movies. But while I'm still missing what's kept me from having to fight this battle for so long, I have to construct my own defenses out of all I've got right now--myself.

It's 9:07 on Friday, December 3, 2010, and I'm a little less depressed.

Four Reasons to Loathe Texas A&M's Bus Transit System

The back of the buses are a den of frightening whirring demonic sounds. I have absolutely no idea what the hell kind of weapons/creatures are being used to slaughter the menagerie of mongooses (mongeese? Google Chrome says no.) in the back compartment of the bus, but it's one of the most unpleasant sounds I hear on a daily basis. Not to mention the heavy, periodic vibration that it sends up my legs, but that's probably just the giant beast that lives inside the bus snoring.

You must hold drag races to determine who your drivers are going to be. Whether it's because they get distracted by the yellow stripes on the road or because they get some twisted pleasure out of watching helpless sorority girls spill their Starbucks Frappe Crappe Machiatto Strangiato all over their North Face jackets, your drivers are going to kill us someday. I don't know if that's your goal or not, but if it is, you're well on your way toward a hunk of twisted metal, maroon shirts, and only the finest Polo apparel.

You secretly know how much I love watching you drive off as I walk up to the door. I can tell who the newbies are because they seriously think that running to the bus will get them on. See, they don't know that you just feed off of that sort of entertainment. Wait for Aaron--sprinting, drastically-late-for-his-test Aaron--to get just within cursing distance of your beloved bus and then close the doors and zoom off. How would you like it if I beat you over the head with one of those stop signs you habitually roll through and then let you painfully limp your way to the bus, only to take off? That's turning the tables quite a bit, huh?

You punish me for being a gentleman. Even after a long, hard day of classes, I still have no problem giving up my seat for a lady. Being that your drivers can't do an ounce of good, they decide to punish me for having such a capacity by planting bitter girls who get offended when you offer them your seat. There's nothing quite like debating whether to be chivalrous or not, finally giving in to be the gentleman, and then hearing YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW ABOUT YOU TREAT ME AS YOUR EQUAL when you make such a sacrifice. And then the whole bus looks at you like you threw a fresh batch of mongeese in the engine.

Someday I will have my revenge, A&M Bus Transit System. Someday.